Fear

  Sometimes I’m afraid to mention God here. I guess I’m afraid people won’t understand and they’ll think I’m an idiot. But I guess I mention him quite a bit because that relationship is a huge part of my life, and a huge part of how I’ve become the Maggie that my friends now know.

  I want to clarify that I don’t mean to imply that I think I’m better than anyone else because I believe in Jesus. I just mean that my relationship with Jesus has changed the way I look at the world. I believe that he has changed me, but other people might believe otherwise.

  It could be imaginary. God could be a figment of my imagination. I do talk to him every day though, and believing that he hears me makes a lot of things different for me. Believing that he’s working in me has taken a lot of weight in worry off of my shoulders.

  I never want to sound preachy or like I’m on the defensive (or the offensive, for that matter). I hope anyone who reads this doesn’t think that I mention God because I think that Christians are better than everyone else, or anything like that. I mention him because he’s a huge part of my life. He’s the one being that I pour my heart out to entirely, and I feel close to him. He’s my friend.

  I don’t even know why I felt the need to explain all of this… but I did. I like to hear people be honest, so I figured maybe someone would appreciate my own honesty. I’m not trying to make a case for Christ or a case for God, and I hope no one thinks that. Maybe people will. Anyway, that’s not how I intended this. I just want to write freely. I admit that I want to worry less about people thinking I’m crazy :)